I – The Selfish…

I cannot express the satisfaction and pleasure I feel to pronounce the word ‘I’. How can anyone be anything but “Selfish”?? I feel PROUD to say “I AM SELFISH!”. Contrary to normal belief about "Being Selfish" it does not seem to be such a bad idea after all; on other hand it could be much more rewarding than the conventional idea of "Sacrifice".

I have toyed with ideas and challenged the traditional believes since childhood. I refuse to accept these believe the way they are preached until I see a reason to it. It is said everything has its reason and everything has its time. Over the time I have come to believe it because I have experienced it and lived through it. I always had a problem with the categorization of Good and Evil, of Boon and Bane, of VIRTUE and VICE and I am still trying to piece it up for myself. It might be in a way reinventing the wheel but who knows from these attempts one may discover that the best design for a wheel is NOT circle but a sphere.

This struggle was silent for a long time till I read a comic-strip created by my friend Arun Shreekumar with the title “Selfish Love”.

I couldn’t agree to it more; from a perspective LOVE can even be a synonym to BEING SELFISH. As usual there were comments and disagreement to use the word ‘Love’ alongside ‘Selfish’ and my friend is guilty to this crime according to a few. This conflict just added fuel to my fire of “What makes something a virtue or a vice?” “Why being SELFISH is SATANIC?” and I had to reason it to myself. Call it a chance or right time I happen to pick “Anthem” by Ayn Rand to read and it silenced the dispute of SELFISHNESS being a VICE or a VIRTUE.

‘Selfish’ is an adjective mostly used to describe “a person whose actions are driven by love for oneself” while ‘Love’ is a tender feeling that one person feels for the other, which can drive people to their limits and beyond. People are sure to question that how can a feeling as pure as love even remotely be SELFISH? But on a closer look they may not be so different after all... 

Of every kind of love known to man there is no love greater than that of a mother for her child. That love is compared to what GOD feels for HIS children and I have no qualms in saying that this motherly love is nothing but purely SELFISH. A mother loves her children without any conditions; without any restrictions; without any bounds; not because the child asks for it or needs it but because SHE wants to. She does it for her own joy as it gives her the satisfaction and peace that no other thing in this world can ever give her. She does it even without being aware of it. When a person loves other truly and deeply it does not matter whether the other person loves back; for the joy one gets in loving other is already his; nothing not even the rejection or hatred or demise of the other can take it away. Who knows this idea may have given birth to the phrase “being madly in love…” for this emotion is beyond Reason.

Another word considered as the biggest hurdle in one’s spiritual growth is ‘I’. The words ‘I’ and ‘EGO’ are disowned and scorned upon by many spiritual/truth seekers; also considered to be the root cause of all evil and born out of man’s ignorance. People try so hard for years to curb this ‘I’ by living lives for others to attain the ultimate peace and satisfaction; but maybe the right path is not in abandoning the path of selfishness, the path of ‘I’ but walking through it towards the Realization of Wholesomeness of ‘I’. Had the word ‘I’ (a sign of singularity and individualism) been so unholy, the GOD would have never been proclaimed to be ONE. Had the ‘I’ been so unholy Advaita Philosophy would never go by “Aham Brahmasmi” (I am GOD); [wouldn’t it be the most EGOIST statement ever proclaiming self to be a GOD]. The only reasoning I can give for this is “Do things which brings YOU happiness. Do things towards which YOU are drawn. DO things ONLY for YOUR happiness. DO things which YOU believe to be right or have faith in. ONLY thing to drive you to do things should be YOUR OWN LOVE for them or happiness directly or indirectly derived from doing it and not some fear. A service done to the underprivileged for the sake of one’s own happiness and satisfaction is a true service else it might even qualify to be just another bribe to get into “Good Books” of ALMIGHTY. The only and biggest disservice one can do is to NOT follow one’s own heart.

Of course merely stating my belief does not prove anything so let me put down a line of thought for you. Let us take an example of any reolutionary person maybe Mother Teresa, Lord Buddha, Swami Vivekananda, Bhagat Singh, Subhaschandra Bose etc.; take your pick. Most of them left their worldly lives, their homes and the blood relations behind. They did not leave because someone told them to but because the thirst, the urge to seek the truth, to achieve the peace and calm, to realize their dream was stronger than anything else in their lives. They did it as it was the only thing that they wanted in their lives. They did it for no one else but for themselves. And in their personal quest for satisfaction for realizing their only dream; they transformed the world. Had they stayed back with their families living the lives the way their loved ones wanted them to; was it ever possible that Mother Teresa would ever be called “Mother” by the whole world, was it ever possible for Prince Siddartha to become Lord Buddha? Would Narendra Nath be able to grow to be Swami Vivekananda; who inspired and guided millions and whose works still continue to inspire the youth even after a century of his demise.

Some may argue that we are simple people living simple lives and not great like the ones quoted above. The only difference between the exemplary people and normal people is that those people devoted their lives to do things in which they have conviction while most others give up on their own convictions because others don’t believe in them; thats ironic... If everyone has conviction as these exemplary people have, this world would be a transformed place. Maybe the only way to achieve it is by being ‘Selfish’ towards one’s own convictions and dreams.

Finally, the vice and virtue is not in the quality or emotion itself but the way it affects other lives. By preserving the essence of ‘I’ and being ‘Selfish’ towards one’s own dreams while giving space for others growth and nurture seems to be a key to bring harmony at every sphere. Be ‘selfish’ and indulge your own sense of being of ‘I’ as if everything in this universe is yours while letting others enjoy it too. Just enjoy the feel of being and be “I – The Selfish”…