Dwandh – The Conflict

Some place amidst lush green trees, by the side of a calm lake where a gentle breeze blew and silence was broken only by occasional tweets of little birds, was sitting a man… still like a statue as if trying to absorb as much serenity as he could. He took an advice and slowed down to smell the roses which brought him to this paradise. He wanted to let the nature sink in… fill every pore of his body bathe his soul with the tranquility. Unfortunately, the situation in his beautiful mind couldn’t be more contrast than the surroundings he was sitting in. He was tormented, as if desperately searching for ever eluding answers; crying out silently to the Universe in a hope of getting some response.

Let us take a peek into his world –

“What is going on?? Why is it happening to me? Did I take the right path? What am I supposed to do?? Of course everything is going fine… There is nothing to complain… I have a great job, great family and great friends; what else one could ask for…

Ah and yet you have doubts… you are impatient… you are looking for answers to some inexpressible questions… you are doubtful about the future and questioning your past decisions.

Yes but that is not it; most important question of all is; am I on the right path?? What was I supposed to do with this life?? What is my purpose?? Am I heading towards right direction?? Who will tell me that and don’t say ‘GOD’. I don’t understand that concept completely or more accurately I don’t want HIM to intervene now, if He at all exists… I must figure this out on my own… I would rather fight and get an answer rather than surrender to whims of uncertainty and fate.

Ha ha ha… isn’t this amusing… here sits a man talking to himself… questioning and answering his own doubts about the purpose and refuting any higher help. Adamant, arrogant and ignorant: all at once. How can you be sure that this voice of ‘Self’ you are talking to is not the ‘voice of GOD’? The guiding force, the mentor thou seek so desperately.

Ok let us make one thing very clear… I know who exactly you are. You are the smart mouth who doesn’t know when to shut up, who is as incomplete and ignorant as I am. You are the one who adds to the chaos and confusion by proposing an alternative path while I am trying to make a decision. You are nothing but my alter ego whose knowledge and understanding is as limited as my own. A man plays innumerable roles in his life and his mind is so beautifully designed that it adapts to new roles and situations almost instantaneously. So you are one such entity or facet of human personality who develops with an individual as his experiences grow; so your knowledge could not be more than that of an individual but yes there is one quality which gives you an upper hand. You are more like an observer or analyst who can look at the current situations and past experiences objectively. Evaluate them and draw unbiased conclusions while I am free to curse the heavens and fate when I fail at something… Your clarity of thought and ability to draw unbiased conclusions makes you the ‘Wise’ one while I stay free to willow in pain and angst when some of my dearest dream shatter, like an innocent child who hates his mother for not giving him the candy. So cut the crap of playing ‘voice of GOD’ and stay focused.

 Ok; as long as I am the wiser one I will play along… :-) . So what is troubling you today?? You are in such a beautiful surrounding instead of enjoying that why are you tormenting yourself with silly questions?

Well it is not all my fault… These kind of serene surroundings just make you realize how chaotic ones daily life is. And the cycle of thought process kicks in leading to more philosophical questions like “Why is there so much of chaos? What is my role in this grand plan? What is my life’s purpose?”… Care to answer a couple of them?

Hmm… answer to this question is much simpler than one could imagine but that is not what everyone wants to listen. We humans are obsessed with ‘complexity’ but at times complex solutions are no solutions at all rather they complicate the original problem. At this point one would expect answers like “creation, leading, contributing to society etc.” but no, this is not the real purpose. The real purpose is much more fundamental than this.

“The real purpose of one’s life is – attaining Singularity”

Bringing the ‘dvandh’ – the conflict to an end by virtue of unity is true purpose of one’s life. As you mentioned earlier human mind adapts and evokes multiple personalities in a response to a situation; more often than not these facets are in conflict with one another. All these facets are parts of a whole but interfere with each other’s role and lead to never ending chaos. Bhagwat Geeta states “The mind acts like an enemy for those who do not control it” on similar lines Robin Sharma quoted “mind is a wonderful servant but a terrible master”. The day when all these facets merge into one seamless ‘Whole’ Singularity will be attained and this ceaseless ‘dwandh’ will also come to an end.

 … … “

– With this there was a visible change in his demeanor, his face radiated with a peaceful smile and eyes sparkled with determination. It seemed he found the answer he sought. For him one of the many 'dwandhs' ended and now he seemed determined to end them all…

We - The Living...

While reading an article a phrase caught my attention “Stressful modern lifestyle”. The phrase seemed to be paradoxical and made me wonder. Shouldn’t it be the other way round? As we evolve as we progress shouldn’t our lifestyle promote more harmony and peace; leading to more stable and relaxed life? So why is it not what we expected? What would we need to do to end this paradox and strike the balance?

Before we do that we need to look at an example where life was much more fulfilling than now. Let us take a peek into the past and see how the Ancient Indian lifestyle was. A person’s life was divided into 4 phases/ashrams and the intention or purpose of each phase was explicitly stated. Those can be named as Bhramhacharya, Ghruhasthashram, Vanprasthashram and Sanyasa. These phases were well thought of and helped in leading a very stable well thoughtout life. The purposes of each stage are as follows:

1. Bhramhacharya: This is the “student” phase of life; starting right from the birth to 18yrs-25yrs of life. Normally, boys would leave their house of parents to go and learn from a teacher/Guru in hostel called as Gurukuls. Here a boy gained knowledge according to his aptitude, ability and need. The core principles of this phase of life are to build discipline, health and follow celibacy. The purpose of this phase is to gain knowledge, learn about the spiritual, social and family life.
2. Ghruhasthashram: This is the phase of life after Bhramhacharya and spans from 20yrs–45yrs of life. This phase of life is to be spent in starting and maintaining a family. This is the time when a person fulfills his duties towards his family and community. The main focus is towards doing a trade/profession, earning money and involving in social & worldly activities. Spiritual and religious activities are done considering the worldly life and social conduct.
3. Vanaprasthashram: This phase follows Ghruhasthashram starting from 45yrs–65yrs of life. The beginning of this phase of life marks a shift of focus in the person’s life from social to more spiritual purpose. The individual starts learning the way towards spiritual growth and starts distancing with the worldly matters. Here the person assumes a role of teacher or mentor to grownup children by providing guidance in their worldly pursuits whenever necessary. The person may stay with the family or move to other quieter place for spiritual practices.
4. Sanyasa: This is the last phase of life where one no longer indulges in worldly goals; their sole purpose is to pursue spiritual goals. In this phase the elder assumes the role of spiritual teacher to others or community and keep on increasing their spiritual knowledge with regular practices.

If we look at this breakdown of a person’s life then each phase in itself focused on personal growth while taking the person from one phase to next. A person evolved in his every phase of life by learning what was required and preparing for the next phase. With equal emphasis on each stage of life a person lived a wholesome life. Keeping in mind this shift of phases and changes in lifestyle a person had a sense of contentment. Also this lifestyle somehow instilled an understanding that life is not about being fixated about one particular thing but a constant flow towards improvement and acquiring excellence in whatever needs to be done. In spite of being a very self centered lifestyle, clubbing it together with the “Joint-Family” architecture; promoted a sense of stability within every family. Every family would have members who are in each of these life phases thus making each family a self sufficient unit which assisted, supported and promoted every individual’s growth. This leads us to think that at an individual level everyone was more stable, content, relaxed and happy.

Now let us fast forward to the present times. To understand present individual lifestyle it is important to note that the “Joint Family” concept has almost vanished and is now replaced by “Nuclear Family” architecture. Though this provides a sense of freedom to family members it comes at a cost. With less number of family members the pressure of maintaining and growing a family fell upon a few with little or almost no backup and guidance. This increased the importance of financial stability over other things. A new thought process of heightened emphasis on earning more money for “Better Life” grew. Over time it became a well established social norm and even the social interactions started getting biased with this concept. This also impacted purest of professions like teaching and medicine; reducing them to mere means of acquiring more money. Knowledge which helped earn more became more sought after thus declining interests in more humane studies. A measure of one’s success or social stature changed from the individual’s ability or knowledge to more of person financial status and worldly possessions. The concept of commercialization grew; though it provided a person with more options and opportunities it also led to a sense of uncertainty and dissatisfaction. The technological advances though promised healthier and easy life; commercialization and undue importance to materialistic things changed the use and intent of technology. This changed the focus of a person towards more fixated intent of acquiring more and more worldly possessions than anything else. The drive may be with the concern of other family members, thus a more selfless life style; but lead to more stressful and dissatisfying way of living. A sense of dread and fear towards the uncertain future; mostly overshadowed the joy of the moment and sense of adventure of life itself. A person spent majority of his life striving to achieve the ever shifting goals and never having the satisfaction of actually achieving them. No wonder now people lived more stressed, misbalanced and dissatisfied life in-spite of being wealthier & healthier than their ancestors.

The picture doesn’t seem so bad after all. A few stitches here and there can fill the embroidery of life with its sense of fulfillment and happiness. Maybe a simple way to achieve this is by giving right emphasis to right things. Though difficult to rejuvenate the culture of “Joint Families”; being more connected and involved can help a lot during difficult and needed times. Instead of sending parents to “Old Age Home” or letting them to stay alone; having them around can be more fulfilling and beneficial with their life long experience and understanding of things (especially kids). Instead of struggling for high paying but less satisfying jobs; converting ones’ passions to professions could be a more rewarding experience. Shifting the focus from what is expected, to start doing what one likes to do; being more self-aware than self-conscious and being open-minded or flexible can bring more satisfaction than expected. Bringing up next generations with right set of values, right sense of fulfillment, right concerns and guiding them in light of right ideals could be a start to pave a way towards a wholesome life and instill the feeling of “We - The Living”…

Are we ill???

Today I woke up pretty early for a Sunday and according to latest habit checked the comments/status on Facebook. One thing evident from comments on facebook was the complete chaos. Every passing day the chaos is increasing that it is smothering. It is kind of suffocating to just listen to the news these days. Every channel is flooded with some or the other crap. I had forgotten the reason why I stopped reading news papers and watch the news and for that matter even cricket after the great match fixing. This constant chaos and unconstructive discussions has made me wonder “Are we ill?? Are we suffering with some sort of serious disease; is it Cancer??”

From the times I remember about myself I was pretty serious about contributing to my country and I am even now. A patriot, serious about everything, passionate about almost everything I talked about and mostly my country India. I felt so proud about INDIA; the legends right from Lord Ram, Lord Parshuram to Bhagat Singh and Subhash Chandra Bose. As a kid I felt yeah there are a few things wrong in my country but those can be set right. I have to prepare myself for that, I was born for a purpose; it would be just a matter of time that I sort it out and till a few years back I felt I have sorted it out. But now suddenly I feel so powerless, suddenly every Indian great achievement seems so mythological so fictional so insignificant in current situation.

Every other day there is new NEWS from some part of India about corruption, about blasts, about politics, about wastage of money, about wastage of time, about hooliganism, about price hikes, about inflation; it is as if whatever can go wrong is going wrong and whatever was not supposed to go wrong even that is going wrong. Where are we as a country heading to? What kind of leadership do we chose for ourselves when we get a chance every five years? Why is it not possible to live an honest and peaceful life? Why can’t everyone do their jobs with sincerity with honesty? Why can’t we smile at the fellow Indian standing besides us in traffic jams? Where are we heading where are we heading?

Have you seen people when we won against Pakistan or world cup in cricket a few months back? They were simply jubilant and celebrated as if we were in a war since centuries and finally won it. It felt so good to see people coming together every stranger on road was coming together even Indians abroad were celebrating it making rest of the world know about our achievement. But where does this enthusiasm goes when it is time to vote when it is time to stand for a purpose, to be together to drive a change. Are we so shallow that our patriotism surfaces only during cricket matches?

Why is cost of education so high and increasing day by day? Why cost of living spiking every year? Why is it becoming difficult for a middle class man to keep frown away from his loved ones beautiful faces? Why medical expenses sky rocketing? Why doctors are becoming apathetic to the pains and discomfort of their patients? Doctors were regarded next to GODS why are these GODS now reduced to mere businessmen wearing masks?

My country was not this a few years back. I grew up with so much pride in my country, the Land of Greats, ‘Sone ki Chidiya’, a future Superpower, Land where people from worldwide come to find solace. What a paradox!!! I feel the reason why rest of the world looked up to India was because of our customs our traditions our family values those were the subtle things which gave us the real power to face any adversary. Where is that now? Why are teachers becoming nightmares? Why are kids becoming disrespectful of elders? Why aren’t elders capable of coming with wise decisions? Why are maximum politicians, senior citizens or criminals? Why we have to go to World Bank every time begging for a loan? Why in spite of Indians being the brains behind most of the technological advances we are falling back? Why Indians have to leave their land to earn the merit to get the recognition for their work? What have we really achieved since freedom? Why do we still have the constitution, laws and reservations based on caste which was made 60yrs back? Are those even valid in today’s date? Are we truly a free nation?

We boast of being the largest democracy. Are we really democratic or whole of the nation is just disillusioned by this while a select few RULE the COUNTRY. Is the anger of masses of India just being used for some illicit benefits? Are the masses of India taken for a ride? As a citizen of democratic nation how many of us are aware of our Rights and how many of those Rights we truly exercise? Is the ignorance of Indians being used by a few for their own benefits? What are we going to say to the next generation? Or will the next generation really give a shit about it?

The tide that has risen against corruption is really appreciable. But the real question is whether the people involved in this revolt this upheaval really aware of the intentions and are they able to take right decision when it really matters? Is this ignorance, this inability, this tendency of the crowd being carried away blindly the disease we as a nation are suffering from? Does this disease have a cure?

Could we as individuals and as a community really contribute to really rebuild our nation brick by brick? There is no doubt that today’s youth is eager to set things right and they are completely capable of it. The thing is the revolution required need to come in such a manner that it covers each and every sector, right from politics to education system, the health sector. This kind of revolution is not possible unless people with like thought from different sectors come together and starts the movement. The need of the time is to educate ourselves about our broken system find the loopholes and fill it up. The time calls for all the educated fraternity to be united and take steps towards finding the problem and fix it. It is time we returned to our roots our fundamentals and develop the resistance against this disease. India is not Egypt where the things need to be taken to the extreme of violent revolts but yes we need to start acting now!!! Each and every individual needs to be strengthened to stand together with the sole purpose of restoring the glory of our dear country. We are the pillars of the future India. It is our attitude today that determines the future tomorrow. It is time to reevaluate on which path we are trotting. What is it that we want to leave for our descendants? Just stop just stand still and ponder over this and see if there is a calling for you.